The Rite of Passage

by Jon Huff

It is Nolan's birthday, and he turns 13.  Al Mohler says, "This age represents a season of both promise and danger, and God expects parents to be up to the challenge.” For the last two years, I've been considering this challenge. 

It is time for a Rite of Passage.

For many teenagers, the Rite of Passage into adulthood is debauchery. Teenage rebellion is just a given that we have come to expect. But for the believer, rebellion at any age is nothing to dismiss as a natural stage of life. 

Scripture speaks much of honor, authority, and obedience. Rebellion assumed the transition to adulthood looks like pornography, parties, premarital sex, underage drinking, and in 47% - drug use. The church must decide, exploratory stage or not, to live by a different narrative. Jesus changed the story when he stepped into our story. 

The French anthropologist Arnold Van Gennep (1873–1957) first coined the term “rite of passage” in his book Rites of Passage. The idea primarily consists of crossing a threshold from one place to another. Stereotypically, boys cross these thresholds with events, and girls cross them gradually over time. Van Gennep breaks down the process into 3 areas. 

• Separation: Leaving behind or the “death” of a previous stage of life. 

• Initiation:  Those who have already crossed the threshold ceremoniously welcome to the next stage. 

• Incorporation: The final stage of being brought into community and received into a new form of life. 

Historically, cultures have adopted various forms of the rite of passage. Maasai warriors had to kill a lion. Aborigines required a bush walkabout. Some cultures go as far as to require a young man to leave home, only to be accepted and reintroduced to the community upon the loss of his virginity.

As believers, we don't take our cues from culture but our King. King Jesus crossed numerous thresholds on our behalf. Jesus was presented in the temple to Simeon, and a sacrifice was offered for the first-born male of Mary (Luke 2). Jesus traveled with his family on an annual pilgrimage to Jerusalem. In his 12th year, he crossed the threshold from student to teacher (Luke 2:41-43). At Cana, Jesus stepped into his earthly ministry by turning water into wine (John 2). Most importantly, Jesus crossed over the threshold of death, experiencing the suffering of humanity so that we could cross the threshold of life and experience a relationship with the Father.   

Now the threshold of adolescence has come—Mohler's right. The stakes seem high, and I want to rise to the challenge. Preparing for adolescence is not a 12-month program, but the last 12 months of "childhood" are an opportunity for increased intentionality. 12 months ago, we began over breakfast. Here are some ideas we’ve explored:  

• Start a business. Nolan's big Christmas present of 2020 was a lawnmower. He worked hard and quickly made $300. Then, having arrived, he promptly shut it down and retired to enjoy the fruits of his labor. We still have some work to do here. 

• Normalize Family Worship. 2020 allowed for additional margin in our home to establish new rhythms. I was somewhat anxious about the outcomes, but I was amazed at how quickly the children considered this a new normal. Some nights are deep and fruitful; others are a race to the finish line. My only regret is that we didn’t start sooner! 

• Read 

• Sing 

• Pray, Together! 

• Journal through Proverbs with the H.E.A.R. method. Over 50 times, the author uses the words "My Son.” Like Solomon, I repeatedly fall short as a father, but I desire we both learn to walk in wisdom.  

  1. Highlight  

  -Title your notes and record verses that pique your interest 

  2. Explain 

  -Who was this passage written to? What does it mean in light of the surrounding verses? What is God trying to teach me in this passage? What does this passage reveal about God? 

  3. Apply  

  -How can this passage help me? How does this passage change the way I think or act? 

  4. Respond

  -Allow God's Word to change you.  What needs to change? Let's pray about that together. 

• Read good books together. A friend in ministry recommended we read Checkpoints together. The book has been a tremendous resource for building character. Checkpoints deals with manhood from the perspective of a soldier. To be a man takes action! 

Today Nolan turns 13. I'm proud of the man he is becoming. These are challenging days, and I pray we rise to the challenge. On Sunday night, Nolan will be surrounded by 12 men we love and respect. These men have all altered the course of my life for the better. It's my desire the heavenly Father surrounds Nolan with men like these. You don't have to look far to find Rite of Passage ideas. Our night will be a simple birthday party with lively conversations centered around a great meal.

Over dinner, we will affirm what is true about Nolan. He needs to hear what his church body sees in him.  Days will come when he doubts his giftings. We all need the echo of affirmations ringing through the halls of our lives.

Second, they will appeal toward manhood. These are manly men who love and lead well. They are business owners, preachers, engineers, and most importantly, servants.

Finally, they will provide accountability. These men will be available to rescue when he's faced with trouble and provide accountability when he crosses the line. We all need partners to watch our blind spots.  

We will not walk on coals or have an elaborate ceremony. That's not who I am…but we will make memories! I hope he's thrilled by his birthday present, a badlands mule deer hunt in Montana. The hunt will be challenging. Monday morning, we'll begin to study maps, create a fitness plan, and prepare gear for November. It will take intentionality…