The End of my 30s
by Becky Huff
This year, I planned to run a half marathon before turning 40. I wanted to be in the best shape of my life and had big plans to start running and training in the fall and do a run in the spring right before my birthday. Then COVID hit our family- twice actually within three months. All of my plans went out the window as I developed heart and breathing issues and could barely walk around the block most days. I was so discouraged. I did not understand what God was doing in my life. I had to quit my job. Everything I had planned did not happen this year while still in my 30s. I began to question God and wonder what He was doing.
Then, I started praying for peace and ran to His word.
While studying 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24 to teach a seventh-grade small group, His Spirit spoke to me again through His words: "Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely. And may your whole spirit, soul, and body be kept sound and blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; he will do it."
God was working on my whole person: my spirit, soul, and body. I had just been focused on my body, caring primarily about my outward appearance and looking and "feeling my best.” Whereas he was concerned about my inner self. God brought me to a low point to realize what was most important. He was refining me and teaching me about Himself so that I could see that the most significant thing about me is not me!
My 30s have taught me a lot about myself.
I have learned that I am not the rock star parent that I thought I would be. I am selfish and impatient. When I was in my early teens babysitting other people's kids, I often thought parenting would be so easy and that I truly would be great at it. I was a natural at taking care of other people's kids.
As I am approaching forty, most days I feel quite inadequate to parent and wonder how I was ever good at babysitting! Granted being a parent is 24/7 as opposed to babysitting other people's kids; you get to say "peace out" after a few hours, these kids of mine I'm stuck with and that can wear on your nerves some days. Before becoming a parent, I was a very patient person or so I thought.
I have also learned that I am not a "good person.” I used to think that I was a good person because I had successfully avoided the "big three": alcohol, drugs, and premarital sex. That I was not a part of all the "BIG sins" that good church girls should not partake in, therefore I was a good Christian. It took me longer than most I'm ashamed to admit that I am no better than the homeless drug addict on the street. I commit sins every day knowingly and also unknowingly. I put things other than Christ on the throne of my life and allow myself to worship something other than my Creator.
I have learned to be content, or rather am learning. For many years I have been chasing after this idea of the perfect job for me. Since I stopped teaching, I have been trying to figure out what I am supposed to do with my life and the career I should have. I tried out several jobs only to find they were not the right fit for me. I am learning that right now my purpose is to take care of my family. To support my husband in his role at the church and in the home and to teach and encourage my children to wholeheartedly pursue God. I do not have to have a high-paying career to be a valued or useful person; I am important because I matter to God and my family. I am content to not chase after material things and to keep up with the latest fashions or trends but to care for my home and make it a place of hospitality and love for God.
Yes, there will be days when I desire to have a new purse or dress or redo an entire room to make it Pinterest-worthy because we all love pretty things, but I am praying that I will not make it my priority to chase after and keep up with what everyone else has.
Instead, I choose to run after what really matters.
My prayer for myself as I move into my 40s and for you in whatever stage of life you are in is this: to aspire to lead a quiet life, be useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work, to have open eyes and turn them from darkness to light, to set your heart on things above where Christ is, and to make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy.
Here's to 40 and a new decade!
